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Raven Alexis

The Best Gift That I Can Give To My Husband and Son in 2017

The Best Gift That I Can Give To My Husband and Son in 2017

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

Maybe it’s my general lack of commitment or just the pressure of feeling like I’ve made a promise to myself… I just don’t do them.

I do, however, create goals for the New Year.

As I was going over my list of goals, I realized I didn’t have anything family-related on my list… and I immediately felt guilty.  

If you know me at all, you know that my husband and son (Mark and Legend) take up the biggest part of my heart. Every day and every year I want to love and serve them more.


I started thinking about different ways I could be a better wife and mom in 2017. I could do more of what my husband likes to do (but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get into anime… sorry, Mark). I could nag my husband less about silly stuff. I could cook more rather than running through Chick-Fil-A (… but, no promises.) I could definitely be a better mom.  I could plan more learning activities for Legend during the day. I could spend more time with him rather than sticking him in front of a kids show on Netflix.

But as I went down the list of my different ideas and goals as to how I could be a better mom and wife, I realized that while they were decent goals… the most important one wasn’t on my list.

I was thinking of all these things I could do to better love and serve my family… but I was missing the most obvious way.

The best gift that I can give my husband and son is myself.

The best investment that I can put into my home is my time.

The best present that I can give to my husband and my son is my presence.


As a stay-at-home mom, you would think I’d have all the time in the world to do that. I’m not running out each day to a 40 hour work week. I don’t have an office twenty minutes from home or a commute that keeps me away from my family. I technically am readily available whenever my husband or son needs me….

But I’m not always present.

I can be sitting on the couch next to Mark… but mentally a million miles away.

I can be playing on the floor with Legend… but my phone’s in my hand and I’m commenting to someone on Instagram.

I can be out to lunch with my family… but I’m checking my phone for notifications.

While I’m physically present… I’m often somewhere else mentally.

In 2017, I want to change that.

I know, I know… we live in a day and age of pretty gadgets and smartphones and apps that connect us to people that we’ve never met in person. And I’m thankful for that… I really am. I love that I’m able to use social media as a platform to share my writing and connect with others.

But my phone should never be more important than the people standing in front of me.

When I wake up, my laptop should never get my attention before my husband does.

I shouldn’t respond to that email while my son is calling out for attention.

Because the fact is… that stuff is exactly that… stuff.

I want to be intentional in my motherhood. I want my son to know that he’s my priority. Even at his young age, I never want him to feel as if my phone or any other “thing” is more important than giving him my attention.

I want to be intentional in my marriage. My husband works 60 hour weeks; the hours that we do get to share, I never want them to go to waste. I don’t want my husband to think that Instagram or Facebook comes before him. I don’t want him to ever feel as if he’s not worthy of my time and attention.


As moms, we of course deserve a break and the fun of social media and all of that good stuff.

But I just want to encourage you to be intentional with how you spend your time. Focus on what’s truly important in that very moment. And always give your family the present of your presence...

After all, the moments you create today will turn into the memories you’ll have forever.

P.S. This photography was done back in August by the very talented Andrea at DreaLina Photography. You may notice that the photography looks familiar… ;)

 Andrea took the photos that I use on my website’s various pages. She’s a local photographer (Sarasota/Bradenton, FL area) who specializes in natural light photography. This was our first family photo shoot back when Legend was only 3 months old! Andrea made us feel so comfortable and truly captured our family in a beautiful way.

For more of her photography you can connect with her on Facebook or Instagram!


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